your thong is hanging out like whoa
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize