She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Success! We fucked roommates!
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
