he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
