Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
