omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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