I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
