see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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