Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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