Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
