why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
