I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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