My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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