i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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