i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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