So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Randomize
