I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
