I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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