curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
