last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
