Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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