she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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