wrigley field is MILF paradise
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
