K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
