He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
soo... how was my night?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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