All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
