No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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