wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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