I never want to see another naked old woman again.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
