You're completely useless in the revolution.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize