Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
