alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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