I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
