I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
