If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
