Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
