yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
