i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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