Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
