Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
