HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
