"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
