I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
