i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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