if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
