So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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