i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
