I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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