i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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