I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I enjoy the company of your penis
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
