you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize