Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
