I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
