Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
