check it out our google latitudes are spooning
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We had to coat check the pizza.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
