Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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