he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
