I faked an abortion last night.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
